Are you sitting down? Let me first make a confession—I am a jack of all trades, master of none. I’m fairly certain that my attention span, or lack thereof, is a force to be reckoned with. I am the proverbial sponge and I want to know everything. And while I’m not sure that any of these (*ahem*) skills will ever amount to anything, I have been assured by numerous friends that they will become priceless in the looming zombie apocalypse. Something to look forward to, I guess.
My ultimate life goal is to take over the world. It’s not that I think I could run things better—Wait, wait. Yes it is. My goldfish could run things better (if, that is, I had a goldfish). But I have decided to start small. I know that the internet is swamped with blogs. Everybody wants to be heard. Sometimes, if we’re lucky, those people have something worthwhile to say. So hopefully I will be able to find the one thing that makes you think I’m worth reading.
So, here I am:
This is one of only two pictures that have been taken of me that didn’t break the camera. I hate looking in a mirror and will avoid it whenever possible, so why on earth would I want to see and share that with anyone else? But at least you’ll be able to say to your buddies, “Hey, I know her. She’s the crazy lady who wants to take over the world,” when you pass me on the streets.
I might as well introduce you to the rest of the family as well. So here’s my knight in shining armor who swept me off my feet and promptly dropped me somewhere in Texarkana. But that’s okay—we were only passing through.
And this beautiful baby girl is Gwendolen Imagine. Oh, yes, you heard it right (I wonder: do you hear the particular pitch and cadence of my voice in your head when you read these words?), I bestowed upon my daughter a celebrity-worthy middle name. But I think it fits her, and for now, that’s all that matters.