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Food for Thought, Religion

The Faith Debate

I have spent a long time grappling with the dilemma of faith. I know that I attended church with my mother intermittently in my toddlerhood, although I don’t much remember it, and with friends later in childhood and early adolescence. I always wanted so much to believe, and was consistently disappointed with myself and the difficulty I found in doing so. I felt that there had to be something wrong in me that I was unable to coax myself into believing. I proclaimed that I did anyway, hoping that if I wanted it enough and lied long enough, it would ultimately become truth. Talk about disillusionment.

In high school I stumbled on Wicca, paganism, and the entire gamut of earth-based, goddess-centered religions and belief systems. I found a home here for many years, but even then I don’t think I ever fully convinced myself. I am still more at home with that line of thinking, and I think that is because of its connection with the earth, with nature, and the respect inherent for all life. I think that at its heart, that is what all spirituality is about. There is a lot yet that science has not fully explained, a lot that is still unknown. But I don’t think we’ll find the answers in religion. Or at the very least, not any answers that I can fully believe.

I’m often frustrated by true believers, as I’m sure they are often frustrated with me. We can admit valid counterarguments but at the crux of it, it is very hard for either of us to fully understand. I cannot understand the argument for faith, and those with faith are equally perplexed by my disregard for it. Is a resolution possible?



One thought on “The Faith Debate

  1. I like the honesty in this post. I too get frustrated by those who talk blithely about faith, yet who seem to have so little of significance in their lives. However if I might suggest a different way of looking at it.
    If you see Christianity NOT as a worked out from the beginning set of ideas with a sort of Harry Potter concept of saying the right stuff to get the spell achieved… and instead see it as an uncertain journey to get some clearer ideas how we might relate to one another – and to a gradually awakening idea about the creative principles found in the community, the world and even the universe, then it begins to make more sense.

    Posted by peddiebill | April 19, 2011, 1:38 am

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