Sex education needs to be demystified. We should not be embarrassed by what is a biological imperative. Masturbation is the key. Knowing and understanding how to give and take pleasure for others or for yourself should be part of basic education. When a child knows how to achieve an orgasm, with a partner and through masturbation, it allows that child to make better choices. Sex becomes not something mystical and magical and all tied up in love, but a normal part of the life cycle. If you tell someone explicitly not to do something, it creates an aura of mystery. “Oh, kids, shouldn’t know that sex is pleasurable because its dirty,” is an attitude that needs to end now. If we are embarrassed about what we do “in the bedroom” we teach our children to be embarrassed about it and a major disconnection occurs from what “society” has decided is “normal” behavior and what really and truly happens in everyday life. These are not the same things.
When we tell children that sex should wait until marriage and love and should be used for the purpose of making babies, we are creating a double standard. If sex is about making babies (which it most certainly is) then it is only common sense to teach children how this happens from a purely scientific point of view with no mention of love or family or relationships. Those are totally separate ideas. As awful as it sounds, we must take the love out of sex.
I’m not saying that we should or shouldn’t have sex because we love someone. But by teaching children that sex should only happen when one is in love, makes them want to have sex even more. The hormones that are going off like crazy at that age makes you feel love so intensely. As children all feelings are encapsulated this way. It is obvious with the toddler temper tantrum. They get so caught up in an emotion that has been brought on and is being regulated by hormones in the body that they are unable to process anything else right then. That is very similar to the love sensation that we feel for those we keep closest to us. When caught up in that hormonal state, all rationality has been thrown out the window.
It is no secret that teenagers experience this love feeling so strongly when they are young and their hormones and bodies are telling them to. When we tell them that that love feeling that is so intense leads to sex but shouldn’t happen until they are older, we have set ourselves up for massive failure.